Ergh

Apr. 2nd, 2016 04:53 pm
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[personal profile] loki_of_sassgaard
I’m really debating not going to this party today. I feel that bad.  I don’t even know what time it’s at, and what time my grandparents are gonna be here to pick me up.  Nobody has actually told me anything, other than that the party is today.

I warned my brother last night that I might not be showing up, because no matter what I do, I’m miserable.  After that, I went to bed, and had the sort of dream that went far beyond omen, and was probably straight up prophetic.  It wasn’t about the birthday, but I’d cancelled on something else.  Everyone was making some sort of treat for wherever they were going, and I kept trying to come back home.  But I couldn’t, because my mother kept shouting at me about how it didn’t matter how I felt, I  had to go.  Any argument I had about my health was shot down with demands to quit being a baby, and how bad this will make everyone else look, and how I  just need to get over myself.  All things that were, frankly, things she would, and probably will say at one point.  Especially since when I made the mistake of telling her what’s going on, she berated me for all my lifestyle choices, telling me that this wouldn’t be happening if I’d just shape up.  

So now I’m sick from all the pills I’ve been taking, already in pain, and feeling guilty about not feeling like I’m up for the six or seven hours we’ll be spending between the party and getting to and from Vancouver.

Crossposted from WordPress. http://ift.tt/1SuZz8U

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