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I've been doing a really shit job at being online lately, but that's mostly because I've been avoiding coming out to be on the computer. I share a desk with my father in law, which is just fucking weird to begin with, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me, which isn't making it any easier. Also, the computer room use to be the garage, but they but in a different exterior wall and a carpet about 20 years ago. Basically, what that means is I fucking freeze if I want to be on my computer at all. Like right now. My computer doesn't have wifi, or else I'd be back in the bedroom where Robin Hood is. I don't know why it doesn't have wifi, because it should, and it's really annoying that it doesn't.
Basically, I've just been hiding in the bedroom all month. We found an old television that wasn't being used, so I hooked up my DVD player and the Xbox to it so I can watch my movies on my computer without having to be near my computer. But that means that my only internet is on my phone, which is less than ideal.
I hate that we live here now. I hate Robin Hood for making me live here now. I've felt sick ever since October, and I feel like an idiot for constantly hiding in the bedroom, but every time I'm in the same room as Papa Bear I get lectured on how I need to find a job and why I'm not doing it right and how I'm young and shouldn't be spending all my time inside. Like I don't fucking know. I was just uprooted, rather against my will. It's not like I have a huge social circle up here. I've been out of work going on four years, with not a single fucking skill to help me get new work. Included in that list of skills I don't have is the ability to be on my feet for any length of time, or lifting anything more than ten pounds. I fucking hate that he's had the same job for decades, and then lectures me like he knows what it's like out there. I hate everything. I just want to die.
Basically, I've just been hiding in the bedroom all month. We found an old television that wasn't being used, so I hooked up my DVD player and the Xbox to it so I can watch my movies on my computer without having to be near my computer. But that means that my only internet is on my phone, which is less than ideal.
I hate that we live here now. I hate Robin Hood for making me live here now. I've felt sick ever since October, and I feel like an idiot for constantly hiding in the bedroom, but every time I'm in the same room as Papa Bear I get lectured on how I need to find a job and why I'm not doing it right and how I'm young and shouldn't be spending all my time inside. Like I don't fucking know. I was just uprooted, rather against my will. It's not like I have a huge social circle up here. I've been out of work going on four years, with not a single fucking skill to help me get new work. Included in that list of skills I don't have is the ability to be on my feet for any length of time, or lifting anything more than ten pounds. I fucking hate that he's had the same job for decades, and then lectures me like he knows what it's like out there. I hate everything. I just want to die.
